A few days ago hope and I were chatting. Something we do not do enough of these days with Hope and Nic on one coast, Coyvere and I in the big woods and Glory and her sweet family in-between. It makes me thankful for the best witchy tool of all times – the internet and smart phones. With out these trying to communicate all of us would be very slow and annoying. I am not a good letter writer. Chats and tweets work so well for my attention span.
Anyway- Hope had ask me if I had chatted (communed) with Danu or Nammu in the past few days, weeks months. What was I working on with them?
I haven’t chatted with either of them much lately was my response
“WHAT?!?!?” Hope asked me sound as gob smacked as anyone can in a text.
I gave a mental shrug cause we all know how well those work via a text
Honestly, I was a bit embarrassed (point to tec communication to can’t see an embarrassed face just an emoji)
I had done nothing special for my practices. No rituals, no elaborate planned out scheduled event for my god/dess in about a year. Honestly maybe closer to two years. It was just Summer Solstice, Midsummer and I had done nothing for Demeter for Danu while both of them were in the height of their power.
But Demeter goddess of growing things and harvest when is she not in her peak power – Summer in one hemisphere is winter in the other.
Danu Mother of the Fae – Mother of the Tuatha Dé Danann when is she NOT in her power
When is she not in her power?
What is time and season to a goddess compared to that of us as mortal?
She, Danu (and all my other god/dess) are not stuck in this linear time – she just is. Always, every where and every when.
“What have you been working on.” Hope asked again.
“Meh.” I shrugged again “Not much, some personal Yoga Nidra stuff – personal work. Shadow stuff.”
“Still?” Hope asked
I bristled (point for tec that Hope was far away from my death gaze as I hissed, fluffed and cursed fluffed like an angry cat.)
“Yes STILL – it’s shadow work – you never stop working on that.”
(point taken away from tec communications) Hope had thought that I had given up working with Danu, Nammu and she was very worried about me. It’s okay for Hope to not trust the god/dess but me Nettle’s Cat she’s the one who’s suppose to be good at that faith and trusting the power that be thing and that everything will work out for the best in the end. She was very worried that I had given up. Rest assured I have not given up my working with the god/dess. I light my lamp to Hestia every morning. I light a candle to Bast, a candle for the other god/dess hanging out in the house invite them to enjoy a cup of tea with me, and a candle for my ancestors. I say my ancestor prayer fill their water cup, and some times if the spirit calls, I light a stick of incense for outside as an offering to the local land spirits.
It all takes less than 10 minutes, 15 tops if I have to refill Hestia’s lamp. My daily practice for about 2 years now.
It is enough.
All this has led me to the point of this post
Your dark side, your demons, your anger, self-loathing, procrastination, I’m not good enough, smart enough or wise enough for anyone to listen to side.
We’ve all got one mine is well feed with a healthy dose of self-sabotage and procrastination.
Y’all I get it this year has sucked and there is no end to the suckage in sight.
It will get worse before it gets better
We all know this our guilds, ancestors, guardians and god/dess have been telling us this for years.
This is the time for your to be doing your personal shadow work
I am not sure when or where the idea of one and done for shadow work comes from but that is not the real work of you doing your shadow work.
For me this is what my shadow work looks like – it might be different for you. Honor that, follow your tradition (but ask why) and by all means your shadow work is your work.
Your shadow work is a life time of work – its just about you trying to be the best version of yourself that you can be in this moment. It’s noticing your habits good and bad and asking yourself why. Why, over and over again. Why …
Shadow work is learning to look at yourself warts and sparkles all at the same time and seeing the strength, the value and beauty in all of you. Your anger as power and good, your grief as healing, your joy as destructive, and you letting your tears be nourishment for the soul.
In yoga we call these Samskaras – or karmic knots. Modern science and phycology might call this your most traveled neuropathways.
Suck in a rut.
We all have these ruts
You might know them as
- That same fight you always get into with your partner
- That inability to save money
- That ugh who would even want to read this tripe voice currently in my head.
We are all in this spot watching the world as it struggles and burns wondering is it worth saving or what can I do to help.
I think it is so I am doing my shadow work
My tradition is strong in the idea that you have to heal yourself first then in the process of healing yourself you heal your ancestors, the world and the future. All this by unraveling these karmic knots over and over again.
I might only make it though one of these knots this life time and that’s cool. Pretty fantastic acutely, it’s hard work to heal yourself. Much easier to heal others.
So Hope & Glory my loves, this was the answer I got from Nammu, Danu & Coyote this morning when meditation on this question of “am I doing enough for you?”
They don’t want my rituals or worship, now they want my work.
They don’t mind the candles, the incense or the bread baked with love for them.
My message from Nammu: “I formed you from mud (clay) and water, with my breath I gave you all. I am the mother dragon of all, of fresh water and I shared my breath with you little mortal. Do not sell yourself short. You can breathe my fire into you, you are mud, clay and water formed by my hands stop breaking yourself.
My message from Danu: “Moon, magic & dreams I have gifted you, to see though illusion I have shown you why do you (ego & will) let yourself hold you back”
My message from Coyote – who wandered into my backyard this morning stealing day old pancakes – letting me know that the animals spirits, plant spirits and the earth herself are telling me good job keep it up and next time leave some bacon out for me ( coyote telling me more ham in the pancakes please).
Keep work keep healing.