Walking A Moonlit Path

Quiet contemplation

I know I haven’t posted in forever. I’d say I’m sorry, but I don’t know that that is true. I have been doing a lot of work on me lately. Much like Nettle, deep in the Shadow work, but also in expanding my awareness of myself and finding my own worth and believe in that worth. It’s an ongoing process. One I know will never end, as the work I do clears up some blocks to open up others that need to be worked on. We are our own masterpieces and we will always find things that need to be tweaked along the way.

In the last year, I’ve completed the work needed to achieve my 3rd Degree at the mystical school I grade for and attend online. I am just waiting for the last little bits to be finalized and then I will decide how I move forward on that part of my path.

I have been reading more books for myself to help me learn and grow in the subjects that interest me. Slowly processing and integrating then moving forward. I do so love to learn. *smiles*

I started doing a few side courses with different spiritual teachers as well, and am opening myself up to the possibility of being present for others in different ways than I have been in the past. Exploring my own abilities and how I can share those gifts with others.

As I said, it’s a never-ending process. One that I readily and happily accept as I work to find the best version of myself in each moment. Knowing that person will not be the same from one moment to the next, but being her none-the-less.

Today I have been feeling philosophical in speaking with several friends about different things. Finding light in the darkness around me, and being that light have been at the core of those conversations, which play very well into the card I drew for my daily card draw this morning – “Lumin Essence” from the Beyond Lemuria oracle deck. Being the light for yourself so you can shine for others. A beautiful message that I’ve seen reflected in those precious conversations so far today. And it’s only barely afternoon here for me. I love the confirmation and the synchronicity.

I hope your Friday treats you well. May you find those with whom you can have those deeper conversations and fill your soul with the juicy tidbits the Universe wishes you to have today!

So which is it?

A comment by Kat spurs a question about that Veil thingy – is it a physical barrier that’s thinning or is it a mental barrier that’s fading?

As much as the many writers have talked about the Veil thinning in their posts, I’ve never come across any one who’s come out and said which it is. Just that it’s thinning and things from Over There can pass through more easily.

That makes one think it’s a real physical barrier that’s failing for whatever reason.

But Kat brings up the possibility that it’s a mental barrier. That They’ve been here all along, right beside us, and we’re just now being able to see Them.

What do you think? And why?

Shadow work

A few days ago hope and I were chatting. Something we do not do enough of these days with Hope and Nic on one coast, Coyvere and I in the big woods and Glory and her sweet family in-between. It makes me thankful for the best witchy tool of all times – the internet and smart phones. With out these trying to communicate all of us would be very slow and annoying. I am not a good letter writer. Chats and tweets work so well for my attention span.

Anyway- Hope had ask me if I had chatted (communed) with Danu or Nammu in the past few days, weeks months. What was I working on with them?

I haven’t chatted with either of them much lately was my response

“WHAT?!?!?” Hope asked me sound as gob smacked as anyone can in a text.

I gave a mental shrug cause we all know how well those work via a text

“Meh”

Honestly, I was a bit embarrassed (point to tec communication to can’t see an embarrassed face just an emoji)

I had done nothing special for my practices. No rituals, no elaborate planned out scheduled event for my god/dess in about a year. Honestly maybe closer to two years. It was just Summer Solstice, Midsummer and I had done nothing for Demeter for Danu while both of them were in the height of their power.

But Demeter goddess of growing things and harvest when is she not in her peak power – Summer in one hemisphere is winter in the other.

Danu Mother of the Fae – Mother of the Tuatha Dé Danann when is she NOT in her power

True.

When is she not in her power?

What is time and season to a goddess compared to that of us as mortal?

She, Danu (and all my other god/dess) are not stuck in this linear time – she just is. Always, every where and every when.

“What have you been working on.” Hope asked again.

“Meh.” I shrugged again “Not much, some personal Yoga Nidra stuff – personal work. Shadow stuff.”

“Still?” Hope asked

I bristled (point for tec that Hope was far away from my death gaze as I hissed, fluffed and cursed fluffed like an angry cat.)

“Yes STILL – it’s shadow work – you never stop working on that.”

(point taken away from tec communications) Hope had thought that I had given up working with Danu, Nammu and she was very worried about me. It’s okay for Hope to not trust the god/dess but me Nettle’s Cat she’s the one who’s suppose to be good at that faith and trusting the power that be thing and that everything will work out for the best in the end. She was very worried that I had given up. Rest assured I have not given up my working with the god/dess. I light my lamp to Hestia every morning. I light a candle to Bast, a candle for the other god/dess hanging out in the house invite them to enjoy a cup of tea with me, and a candle for my ancestors. I say my ancestor prayer fill their water cup, and some times if the spirit calls, I light a stick of incense for outside as an offering to the local land spirits.

It all takes less than 10 minutes, 15 tops if I have to refill Hestia’s lamp. My daily practice for about 2 years now.

It is enough.

All this has led me to the point of this post

Shadow work

Your dark side, your demons, your anger, self-loathing, procrastination, I’m not good enough, smart enough or wise enough for anyone to listen to side.

We’ve all got one mine is well feed with a healthy dose of self-sabotage and procrastination.

Y’all I get it this year has sucked and there is no end to the suckage in sight.

It will get worse before it gets better

We all know this our guilds, ancestors, guardians and god/dess have been telling us this for years.

This is the time for your to be doing your personal shadow work

I am not sure when or where the idea of one and done for shadow work comes from but that is not the real work of you doing your shadow work.

For me this is what my shadow work looks like – it might be different for you. Honor that, follow your tradition (but ask why) and by all means your shadow work is your work.

Your shadow work is a life time of work – its just about you trying to be the best version of yourself that you can be in this moment. It’s noticing your habits good and bad and asking yourself why. Why, over and over again. Why …

Shadow work is learning to look at yourself warts and sparkles all at the same time and seeing the strength, the value and beauty in all of you. Your anger as power and good, your grief as healing, your joy as destructive, and you letting your tears be nourishment for the soul.

In yoga we call these Samskaras – or karmic knots. Modern science and phycology might call this your most traveled neuropathways.

Suck in a rut.

We all have these ruts

You might know them as

That same fight you always get into with your partner
- That inability to save money
Procrastination
Self-sabotage
That ugh who would even want to read this tripe voice currently in my head.

We are all in this spot watching the world as it struggles and burns wondering is it worth saving or what can I do to help.

I think it is so I am doing my shadow work

My tradition is strong in the idea that you have to heal yourself first then in the process of healing yourself you heal your ancestors, the world and the future. All this by unraveling these karmic knots over and over again.

I might only make it though one of these knots this life time and that’s cool. Pretty fantastic acutely, it’s hard work to heal yourself. Much easier to heal others.

So Hope & Glory my loves, this was the answer I got from Nammu, Danu & Coyote this morning when meditation on this question of “am I doing enough for you?”

They don’t want my rituals or worship, now they want my work.

They don’t mind the candles, the incense or the bread baked with love for them.

My work.

My message from Nammu: “I formed you from mud (clay) and water, with my breath I gave you all. I am the mother dragon of all, of fresh water and I shared my breath with you little mortal. Do not sell yourself short. You can breathe my fire into you, you are mud, clay and water formed by my hands stop breaking yourself.

My message from Danu: “Moon, magic & dreams I have gifted you, to see though illusion I have shown you why do you (ego & will) let yourself hold you back”

My message from Coyote – who wandered into my backyard this morning stealing day old pancakes – letting me know that the animals spirits, plant spirits and the earth herself are telling me good job keep it up and next time leave some bacon out for me ( coyote telling me more ham in the pancakes please).

Keep work keep healing.

Update for Nettle’s Cat and Coyvere

So.. yeah… guess what?

We’ve moved again. In the past six years we have gone from old worn down mountains, to desert, to hot swamp and now we are back where Coyvere and Nettle’s cat first met up here in the great north woods. It’s strange to hear accents that are comforting and familiar. To recognize trees and plants as familiar knowing their names and what they are good for. It feels like home to be up in the great woods by these great lakes.

It’s been a hella year.

For all of us.

Moving in the middle of a pandemic is not something for the faint of heart. I lost my beloved yoga studio because of the move and it has closed – that has broken my heart. A huge loss for all the members of my yoga tribe. Now I am left struggling to find a way to create from the ground up a virtual yoga studio. I am lucky in that I have some amazing mentors and friends helping. Still it’s easy to feel adrift these days. We lost one of our beloved cats Bella, he had a stroke in the middle of a phone conversation with Nic and Hope. We are almost to the point where we can laugh at the absurdity of that Sunday afternoon. Almost… My mother is having health issues living in another part of the country. Can’t even visit her to help out because of the pandemic. So we sent her a tye dyed blanket, some thing she can cuddle with and wrap around her as a hug. Coyvere’s mother is angry and unhealthy.

Weirdness abounds before we left the hot swamp Coyvere was reunited with his birth family. Found out about his birth mother and that he has 1/2 siblings out in the world who knew about them and knew that he was wanted and searched for.

Our evil spawn are doing well out on their own away from the nest. It’s amazing to watch them grow into humans.

So that is our life mundanely speaking, trying to live our very human life and practicing magic when and where we can.

I have started teaching an online restorative yoga and meditation class on Wednesday nights and as part of the theme for the class I draw a card from this new oracle deck I just love. It’s Spirit Animal oracle deck by Kael Klassen from Liminal Roots Botanica

For class last night drew the SKUNK (Assert Yourself)

and I had to chuckle it’s my new favorite card fitting into everything that is going on around us in the world. I might even have to consider it as a totem animal.

Skunk teaches us to move through life with an unwavering sense of self assuredness.

Be calm move at your own pace and be ready for anything

and my favorite passage

” Often though, when it comes to moving into the growth that life is offering , you will need to assert yourself in a way that is perhaps bolder or stronger than your normal. Like Skunk, this doesn’t need to be confrontational. But, like Skunk, trust that you are fully equipped and capable of throwing down some stank if that is what it takes to do what is best for your growth.”

Wishing you all the best and the power to know when to throw down that stank when you need

Nettle’s Cat

Since this year is fucking weird anyway…

I’m going to go with something that popped into my mind this morning. We’ve all heard about the shredding veil, and about the Otherworld bleeding over into ours, with more frequent interactions with the fae of all types. It’s like looking through a kaleidoscope, admiring the pretty pattern, and then it being given a tiny twist that suddenly confronts you with an entirely new pattern that you didn’t expect. Sort of a fracture of reality, with a piece falling away to be replaced by something else.

I was watching The Witcher on Netflix, grumbling about the stupid non-gaming writers, and then I started wondering if we’re going to be needing our own Witchers here pretty soon. They kill monsters. There’s plenty of things coming over from the Otherworld that would qualify in human minds as monsters – like any thing that has us on the menu. But what we don’t have are people who specialize in getting rid of them.

Then I considered the Otherworld’s antipathy towards iron. It seems that iron is the only thing that really deters them. And our arsenals are impressive these days. Lots of average people both own and know how to shoot guns. Is it possible that the Othercrowd has come up with something to neutralize our one advantage? And is that why they are coming across in increasing numbers?

Are we about to find ourselves up Shit Creek with a broken paddle and a terminally leaky boat?

Consider the ramifications. They have been observing us for generations and know that our first reaction to anything we fear is to try to kill it. They know that iron is their Kryptonite and that we have iron in abundance. We can shoot iron – we don’t even have to be within arm’s length any more. If they want to take back their position and power here they’re going to need some way to stop humans from doing what we do best and first. No one is going to invade another world if you know the current inhabitants have overwhelming fire power. Some way has to be found to level the playing field, if not tilt it in their favor. They aren’t stupid. They would have been planning this for longer than we can imagine.

My, but the future looks interesting!

Why I love the Oracle Cards

I spent decades trying to get good at reading tarot cards, to no avail. I spent long years wrestling off and on with the runes, and never could read them well. I don’t have the patience for things like scrying. So when I had a reading done using the oracle deck I wasn’t hopeful.

The reading itself was accurate – almost scarily so. And it didn’t LOOK any harder than the tarot. So I invested in a deck and the Complete Lemorand Oracle Handbook. Mayhem ensued.

I know that people say that reading the tarot is telling a story. You just have to be good enough at deciphering what the story is. With these cards I don’t have to strain to string words together – they damn well write themselves.

As an example – a question I asked yesterday. Will Freyja offer me training again? (yes, I was offered once but ran screaming and the alf didn’t take it well and well, it’s a long story).

I drew, in this order,

22 Pathways – 15 Bear – 20 Garden – 5 Tree – 26 Book

yes, I’ll be made the offer and I can choose my path (22 and 15) to work with the alfar as a group (20) with growth in wisdom and knowledge.

Can’t get any clearer than that, can it?

And my deck – Gilded Reverie – is sooo pretty! Just looking at the individual cards is enjoyable.

Been a while since we last posted…

And like everyone else here we’ve been dealing with the pandemic as best we can. Nic and I are in a small town on the Oregon coast. Nic is working at the local hospital and I’m adopting cats from the local shelter and trying to enjoy the natural beauty. We hear seals barking occasionally – they beach themselves at low tide and talk amongst themselves, maybe about the local salmon runs. People are coming out with their boats from out of state and we expect the number of infected to rise as the summer wanes. It’s windy enough to blow the virus away from us when we talk to eachother outside, and distancing is easy to do with all this space we have on the beaches.

The OR team got together for a pot luck on the 4th of July, high up on a mountain with space and wind to keep us safe. We watched the fireworks the town set off under the bridge and enjoyed food and a bonfire along with new faces to talk to. Nic made 3 bean salad and ribs. We could see the rv park below us, tiny in the distance. The cats didn’t seem fazzed by the fireworks. Dee and her husband who own the land up there on the windy heights have adopted 60 cats fromt the shelter, and they have the run of the place. Not many rodents around.

I signed up for John Beckett’s class on magic and enjoyed it. Two of the three parts of the spell I worked for Nic’s place of employment have come to pass, and I expect the third and final part to kick in this month.

A year later I’m able to contemplate working with Freyja, and I bought a lovely little sculpture from a couple in Russia for my altar. I did have some reservations about becoming a devotee after the tumultuous 4 years back-and-forth with the alfar, but She’s always been welcoming to me when I wanted to visit my cats there, and this last time when I had to go to see my darling Chinle again She let me in without a problem. So I’ve persuaded myself that She’s not going to refuse me out of hand and I’ll start making offerings and prayers, and see how it goes. I’m hoping to be able to ask Her for training. I think I can approach it now without running away or having a panic attack.

I hope that all of you are doing well, holding onto sanity, and not forgetting to prepare for whatever the Tower Times has to throw at us next. It’s certainly been a year to remember!

Loss in the time of Covid

Normally I would tuck this post over in my yoga blog but it wanted to be here on Moonlit Path.

“The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive.” ― Rob Montgomery

My girls have a favorite game they play with me. “Mama do you remember when….” Some times the story is funny, some times our two sides of the story are so far from being the same that we wonder if we are talking about the same event. Sometimes we laugh some times I cry on the inside because I wasn’t a perfect parent. Somedays the memories bring me warmth and others I morn for those times when my babies were still babies.

A few weeks ago, I had a moment in my Yoga Nidra.

For those of you unfamiliar with this practice Yoga Nidra is both a goddess and a practice – it is deep relaxation where the body sleeps and heals but the mind travels to the place beyond ourselves.

I was in my Yoga Nidra practice when something happened that shook me to the core. In meditation I saw a wailing woman full of pain and grief. She was nothing but a bundle of pain, blood and rags and she was coming for me. I was instantly snapped out of my meditation. My heart was racing and I could still feel in the back of my mind her presence.

Who or what was she?

Was she a banshee or a La Llorona? In most traditional mythology she is a bringer or harbinger of death. Was she the Morrigan, a goddess that I associate with war and insanity? Was she one of the Furies the Erinyes coming to visit to remind me of some past wrong now here to extract vengeance?

(Sometimes you can know too much mythology)

I did something I almost never do after that Yoga Nidra session. I reached out and asked for help in understanding. What did this mean? I am blessed to have so many wise women in my life.

Schizophrenia does run in my family. And there was the deep fear with in my that I had finally lost it. Talking with all these wise people helped me though this and I learned that I was not going crazy but that I was remember my loss.

I was remembering all that I had lost. Personal loss watching my girls grow up to be young women. Generations of loss etched into my DNA. Loss of homes, jobs, the loss of loved one, the loss of my dreams unachieved. I was embodying my loss. I had changed and I needed to give myself the time to mourn all these losses.

It’s not a one-time thing, I know she will be back, my wailing woman. She has been back, my wailing woman but now I invite her to come sit with me and we mourn our losses together. I will remember. I will remember, then I will forget again and she will return.

In yoga we remember. We remember that we are dragons, we are the banshee, the furies and that we are the healer. With yoga I remember I am the phoenix.

“And when all that was left was ashes, she would again clothe herself in flame. Rising from the dust of her past to rekindle the spark of her future. She was a Phoenix, her own salvation; rebirthed, renewed, resurrected.”

— LaRhonda Toreson

The path of yoga is not linear it is both what we have forgotten and what we remember. It is what we do when we remember all that we are. Life is not linear our dreams must be able to change, to grow, to evolve and to be reborn. We must also remember loss and keep our ability to mourn.

“When we die, we will turn into songs, and we will hear each other and remember each other.” ― Rob Sheffield, Love Is a Mix Tape

There is a lot to mourn as what we once knew as “normal” is being changed into our new “normal”. It’s okay to be sad during these times and let your self mourn.

Much love

Nettle’s Cat

Smite the Unbeliever!

My elder brother, Dave, is very dogmatic. He’s been in therapy for years now, he tells me, about what I haven’t inquired yet. Could be his tours in Nam. In any event, he tells me that religion is bunk, gods aren’t real, and only the stupid believe in them.

This is the time I really wish I had a deep close connection with some deity – ANY deity – and could ask the favor of him being enlightened. Just a quick visit by someone the god sends. Doesn’t have to be the deity him/herself. Just a series of eye opening occurrences to jolt him out of his ‘logical’ mindset.

He struggles to continue to live because he’s afraid of what happens after death. I wish I could help him see that it’s not the emptiness he fears.

Haven’t spoken to him after that call but I’m sure I will sometime soon, and I’m going to ask him if he thinks I’m gullible, stupid, etc. for my beliefs. I tried to explain UPG and SPG, and what’s going on, but without an open mind none of it makes sense to him.

Poor Dave.

Are they really that?

Ah… Hope my darling love

The gods are evil rat bastards and do not deserve our worship. With all the raping and pillaging, fighting & backstabbing, we can add a few plagues and rivers and/or lakes of blood worst yet never giving us what we want but what we need and yes, we can come up with the idea that they are EVIL. Evil just evil.

Not worth our worship or time. After all, don’t’ they need us just as much as we need them. OR as rational beings we have science so to hell with the gods.

I hear you

I hear your panic at the idea of trusting this

I understand that fear, and I know that fear.

I hear you

I love you

I want you to remember.

Mythology is not literal it is allegorical
Mythology like parables, Grimm’s folktales, stories and other fables exist to teach children and adults what to fear and how to behave or how not to behave.
Mythology was translated and written by the winners (in most causes what we consider modern translations were written by good white male Victorians who didn’t want their women to be free thinking sexual beings. Power and control over the means of production – heirs, preferably male to maintain holdings of money and land. Or even more devious in my mind adopting them into your pantheon and changing them to make them weaker something to fear.)
How you look at a myth is how you gain it’s understanding. Medusa seducing Jason and getting her head cut off because she was a monster – a perfect example the decapitation of female empowerment or is the myth just about a poor man just trying to get home back to his wife & country and all these evil monsters are in his way.
Follow the pattern of conquest and see how the gods changed and evolved with each conquest. The mythology of the Mediterranean starts in ancient Egypt and Africa thousands and thousands of years ago. People will change the mythology of the gods to fit their government, their tribal beliefs and their need for power and control. And what is rape if not all about power, fear and control.
You know my past, the abuse I had as a child so I ask you with that abuse of power and control how could I if I believed that Hades raped Persephone would I worship the both of them? I in all my years of communion and worship with the both of them have never gotten a rape vibe off of Hades. There have been some thought forms or some darker force that did try to approach me in such a way but that was not MY Hades and I sent their asses packing. My Hades does not dwell in a Christianize version Elysium and Persephone is their QUEEN. All my years of worship Persephone has never felt weak, or the victim of circumstances. She is not the side note to Hades story she is a power all to herself and a Queen of her own realm.
Ask yourself who benefits from the telling the tales of the old gods as evil raping villains?

I do believe that the gods are a reflection of humanity in all our good, bad and ugly. Their maybe even one or two who are reviling in this notion of making the old gods look petty, vengeful and full of spite. There are more than one or two that are about peace, love and tranquility. I know that when I feel down and overcome by the crazy happening in the world right now I remember Quan Yin, Nammu, Sekhmet, Hestia, Nut, Saraswati and Hathor. Goddess of love, community and protection.

You always have the power to choose who and how you worship.

You have the power to deiced IF you want to worship a god or goddess. Which ones you worship which ones you don’t.

You have the power over how you worship.

You have the ability obverse, question, discover and interpreter mythology to empower you.

Much love

Nettle

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